Friday, August 22, 2008


Tsk. A couple of days ago, my blog was 500 posts old. And I was so busy that I didn't even notice. I didn't even send a card. 500! That's some kind of a pointless landmark surely?

So I'm having a day of belated smug self-congratulation. So much waffle has passed under the bridge since I started this monster in 2006. So many rants. So many bad puns. It's a day to celebrate and you are all hereby invited to my blog's virtual birthday party. Bring virtual hats and virtual beer. Oh, and here's a joke to set the mood.
Sorry. This is about as funny as I get. So if you're not laughing, it may turn out to be a crappy party. Please seek solace in spirits. The virtual beer is in the virtual kitchen. There's a pretend bottle opener in the imaginary second drawer down. Please don't stand on ceremony. Help yourselves.
Happy birthday blog!


Debby said...

Congratulations on the milestone.

Here's my favorite joke:

I don't like beer, but I'll borrow your opener for my Bacardi Pomegranite Wine cooler. Thanks.

Janet said...

Cheers! Happy Birthday to your blog!


Stevyn Colgan said...

Debby - Not bad! Not bad at all. And it has pirates in it so that's always a bonus. Arrr! Wi' a curse!

My favourite joke of all time is appalling. But here it is:

A chap is sat in his living room one evening watching telly. Outside, the rain is cominbg down like stair rods and the wind is howling like a banshee. Suddenly, there's a light tapping at the door. The chap goes to answer but, at first, can't see anyone there.
'Bloody kids' he mumbles.
Then he hears a tiny squeaky voice.
'Excuse me Mister.'
He looks down and sees a snail.
'Can I come inside?' says the snail. 'It's cold and wet out here and there are badgers and foxes out to eat me.'
'Cheeky sod!' says the man and he picks the snail up and throws him as far as he can and slams the door. 'I'm not having his slimy sort in my house.'

Anyway, about 9 months later, the chap's hanging a picture, when there's a gentle tapping at the door. He opens it and there's the same snail who says:

'What did you do that for?'

Drumroll and cymbal crash please.

Stevyn Colgan said...

Janet - Cheersh! Hic!

Debby said...

Boom tish!

Stevyn Colgan said...

I thank you!

I was grasping for the most appropriate onomatopoeia. Boom tish. Perfect!

willow said...

Okay! Thanks~~I just popped open a bottle, even though it is still morning here. I love parties.

I laughed at the lazy eye cartoon. Love your drawing style and sense of humor!!

Kudos on 500 and have a great weekend.

Willow x o

chris hale said...

Happy quincentenary to your blog, you old cove! I'm surprised I can still say that after drinking all the beer I found in the cupboard under the sink in your *hic* virtual kitchen. Spingo, I think it was. Definitely wasn't a Party Seven.

Here's to many more postings!

Me said...

Steve - well done - many of your posts have made me smile, even more have made me double up laughing and some have moved me to really sit and think. Your blog is superb - like much of what you write. Even when you write about my OCD in your soon to be published book - it made me chuckle! x

Stevyn Colgan said...

Willow - Cheers! I will!

Chris - Just don't have a virtual vom on my make-believe carpet, ok? Spingo! Ha! I have a real bottle of it in my real fridge as we speak. And oh yes, I remember the Party Seven. And THAT party ... the stair-diving, a man called Shakespeare, a dodgy toilet door ... happy days. But no party will ever be topped by the one after which I spent three days washing your blood out of the curtains and off the ceiling. Ah, memories.

Me - If only you'd been there to clean up ... x

Anonymous said...

Ooh, I love a good party - what's the occasion? Oh yeah, your blogs old.

Well done and best of luck. Keep at the blogging, you're quite good at the writing thing and some actually enjoy your ramblings! ;)

Stevyn Colgan said...

Rob - You too Matey. I enjoy your blog too though don't always leave comments as often as I should. It's all about time. Sigh. But thanks for popping in ... was it you who drank all seven bottles of my 1978 Domaine de la Romanée-Conti Montrachet?!!

Anonymous said...

Oh no, sour stuff! Cheap and nasty - wouldn't buy them again. Gave up after the first bottle and used the others as virtual skittles! Sorry about the virtual mess.

Stevyn Colgan said...

Rob - Good job Sotheby's sold me a cheap crate then ...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, if only! What do those go for now? About £3k a bottle on a lucky day?

Michele said...

Hey, congrats on the 500 posts!

Thanks for all the fun and informative posts so far! And your lazy eye illustration cracks me up. :-)

Well done! To 500 more...

(the blogging slacker, who's not even close to 500 posts)

Stevyn Colgan said...

Hey Michele - long time no see! Thanks for the kind words - I hope you enjoyed your European jaunt! x

joelmead said...

You don't look a day over 499;)