'This year saw the first change to the Dangerous Animals act since the 80s. The act decides what animals are allowed as pets and what aren't. Previously, how they worked out what made an animal dangerous was a bit random. A Dr Brambell decreed said that if an animal could: (a) scratch or bite more than a domestic cat, (b) kick harder than a billy goat, or (c) sting worse than two wasps ... it was dangerous.
Now DEFRA's gone all scientific and adopted a mathematical function: Ferocity x Armament. For example, a sloth has big claws but he just can't be arsed to use them ... so he's not dangerous. A tiger, on the other hand, has big claws, huge teeth and quite likes biting you, so he's considered a no-no.'
It got me wondering what animals could now be considered as dangerous. A cow will kick you harder than a goat, as will a horse, so are they now dangerous? And, as a child, I had a hamster who used to bite the Hell out of me any time I dared put my hand in his cage (so, incidentally did Johnny Rotten. The hamster's name was Sid - Sid Vicious. Rotten later renamed the Sex Pistol's bass player - John Ritchie - after his pet). It bit me more than a domestic cat ever would.