Monday, October 22, 2007

Congratulations on being less crappy than the competition, Neil!

A quick congrats to my good friend Neil and his wife Sarah who got married on Saturday. It was a lovely ceremony and a nice day all round. Even the weather behaved itself and we enjoyed glorious sunshine.

Neil and Sarah are both busy professional people and met via an online dating agency ... which provided me with some great material for my best man's speech.

Neil's first attempt at logging in resulted in him entering his own details in the 'who I'm looking for' fields. Consequently, he was beseiged with emails from Barrys, Toms and Dereks. However, putting the same information in the correct fields didn't exactly generate an avalanche of ladies and we began to realise that we didn't really know how to 'sell' him to potential partners.

So we decided to look at the competition i.e. what other guys were writing about themselves in their profiles. After all, it's always a good idea to know who you're up against. And this is what we found - these are 100% genuine and real.

‘My main passions are music, film & curtains.’

'I'm not interested in playing mind games or marriage.’

'Not being rude, but I like a lady with a bit of meat on her.’

'Even though I have 3 females living with me the conversation isn't that inteligent... So I'm looking for someone I can have one simple conversation with without having to repeat myself 3 or more times...’

‘I am shy at first but a nutter when I get going.’
(This was a doctor)

And my personal favourite ...

'Has it come to this …’

Start queueing ladies - your Prince has come.

I'm delighted to report that, despite our ineptitude, Neil and Sarah did eventually find each other and they make a wonderful couple. I wish them every happiness for the future. And I'm also delighted to have retained his log-in for the dating website. It is, without doubt, an untapped goldmine of comedy.

No comments: